What is our SHADOW?

What is a SHADOW?

The term "SHADOW" was first used by Carl G. Jung to describe the repressed or denied part of the Self. Robert Bly popularized this idea in A Little Book On The Human Shadow. Bly says that we were each born into a "360 degree personality." As infants we expressed the full circle of our human nature, without editing or censoring. As we grew up, however, we learned that certain slices of our 360 degree pie were unacceptable to the people around us. Maybe we were shamed for crying or punished for being angry. We may have been ridiculed for wanting attention or acting proud of ourselves. So, we learned to repress those slices of our pie. According to Bly, it was as if we threw them over our shoulder into a bag, which we've been dragging around behind us ever since.

Most of us have issues in the bag which slow us down in some area of our life. Some of us can barely move because we have so much in the bag. We define Shadow as everything we have stuffed into the bag. It may be "positive" parts or "hurtful" parts. The SHADOW is all those parts of ourselves we have split off, repressed, hidden away or denied.
How do I recognize my SHADOW?

You can identify your SHADOWS by looking at what you project onto others. When you deny a trait in yourself, you tend to be very aware of that trait in other people. This means that you are most alert to those traits in others which reflect your own SHADOWS. You may react irrationally to one of those traits in others which reflect your own SHADOWS. You may react irrationally to one of those traits in someone else, blowing things out of proportion. So, you can begin to identify your SHADOWS by looking at those things which annoy you in others. Another way to spot your SHADOWS is to look for things you find yourself doing by accident. No matter how hard you try to keep your bag sealed, your SHADOW may leak out in a way that seems beyond your control. For example you may promise yourself that you're going to spend more time with your family, yet it seems that you're spending more time at work. You may find yourself jumping from one self-defeating relationship to another. You may ignore your own rules about eating, drinking and smoking. When you repeat a pattern of behavior involuntarily, it may be a sign that your SHADOW is running your life!

You can also notice the traits which you admire the most in others. Who do you look up to? Who are your idols? We often project our GOLDEN SHADOWS onto others, and get stars in our eyes, because these people represent the qualities we have disavowed in ourselves out of a false sense of modesty. You could say that we paint other people with our SHADOWS, for better and for worse.

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